Walk

Went for a ten minute walk this morning. No back pain or foot pain. Went to the foot Dr. yesterday and he taped my feet. It looks like my arch has fallen and my feet are spreading. If the tape makes my feet feel better than he will make custom arch supports for me. So far pain about zero.

Yuck

I feel like Yuck! I did do some walking at recess today. I came home and tried to play the Wii. Didn't make it very far. Stupid Cold! I did have a great big salad for dinner. O.K. and a whole loaf of fresh made homemade bread. Thanks neighbors for a great Christmas gift. Don't get to mad. . . . it was just a baby loaf.

Sunday Add-on

I woke up this morning feeling like I needed to add something to yesterdays post. I forgot to thank someone very special that helped me lose some weight and start to gain the confidence that I can do this. I know that my Heavenly Father played a role in this past weeks success. I felt his promptings. I felt of His love. I know that He stepped in and made up the difference when I fell short. I would be very ungrateful with out acknowledging His help.

Up or Down

Sunday mornings are the mornings that I get on the scale. I know, I know......there are things more important than the number on the scale. But some times that is all I have to hang on to. The results.............

Oh, you'll have to wait. I should also mention for any new readers.....If I miss more than a day or two of blogging.........I probably haven't been doing the right things. I'm still really struggling with Fruits and Veggies. I don't know why. I enjoy eating them. My brain just doesn't seem program to think about them.

The number on the scales went DOWN!!!!!

Walking

I walked today. At school we have a row of 14 swings. I usually just pick one and sit on it to watch the kids play at recess. Today I started walking around them. When I needed to I would sit down for a minute and then get back up and walk some more. I don't have any idea how long I really walked but I did it during recess for both sessions. I do have to admit that I walked around faster in the morning. But I did it for both as slow as the afternoon might have been.

For your Info

Just in case you wanted to know.......below freezing (and even zero) temps. are not all that wonderful for Osteoarthritis. I have had a very sore knee that past couple of days. But then we haven't been above freezing in a couple of days.

I spent about 1/2 hour tonight on the Wii. I also spent some time doing resistant training. I might not be able to do much from the waist down right now but there is no excuse for not working the top.

I can't wait to get in my pool and work the bottom half. Pray that I can get the help I need to get it finished.

Feeling Good

I just need to blog again and say that I feel good. I think I feel more upbeat and positive than I have for a while. I'm tired a lot. Usually on Saturdays I have a nap or two. Not today. I have played the Wii a couple of times, did some gospel studying, read a bit and now I am watching "A Wonderful Life." I have done 3 batches of laundry and unloaded, loaded, ran, and emptied the dishwasher. By bedroom and bathroom are cleaner than they have been for a long time. I also finished wrapping my Christmas. Yes, I'm tired and ready for bed, but I stayed busy and didn't nap. Yeah!

What Hurts Most

O.K. As I typed the title the thought went through my mind, I need to be more positive. I was just out playing Wii and thought "What hurts the most.....knee, foot or back." Today I think it is my back. I say back but I'm not sure if it's back or hip. The stress tension I feel would probably be right were they meet just left of my spine. I have heard that you can't fix what you don't acknowledge. So I must say. . . . I really shouldn't wonder why I hurt a lot when I've let myself get so big (very close to 300) and out of shape. I have a deep feeling that losing some weight will help with the pains. I know it won't get rid of them completely but will make a big difference.

But I feel good about positive changes on the way. I'm not sure that any one out there is reading this (except Andrea, Thanks). If you are I would love your comments. I need help. I need love. I need encouragement. I need your prayers. I need your support. I need all the motivation that I can get.

Waiting for Dinner

My dinner is cooking so I decided to take a minute and blog. I'm making homemade turkey noodle soup. I've wanted it for the last couple of days but haven't taken the time to make it.

I played Wii again today. Not much walking. My knee is hurting today. I think it might be playing Bunco last night. If you know much about that game......well, I moved around a lot last night. Up and down off the chair. Up and down is the hardest for me. I mentioned playing Wii with my left hand. Left shoulder a bit sore today.

It's Up to Me.

O.K. Today starts a new month. It also bring a new thinking for me. I have allowed myself to get so out of shape. I have said for months now......"As soon as the pool gets in I'll start exercising daily and get back in shape." Well, still no pool! I can't blame the pool for my lack of fitness. I can't blame the hurt in my back, knee and foot for my lack of fitness. I can eat better. I can move some how.
I'm not sure if it is something I actually read in my scripture said or just felt, but I'm slowing changing my way of thinking. The Lord will help those that help themselves. I have prayed and prayed for help to get that pool in. I have felt so discouraged at no answer. Then, The Lord will help those that help themselves. I have got to do what little I can do.
I came home from school today and play Wii for 1/2 hour. I created a new Mii to play left handed. Boy that was fun. I played most of the time sitting. But I was moving. I then spent the next 1/2 hour watching the news but walking up and down my hall during the commercials. I'm sure every little thing has got to help.

Fitness Pain

O.K. maybe it isn't really fitness pain. I paddled a canoe for over an hour yesterday. My right shoulder hurts today. I was just folding towels going, ow, ow, ow. I know what your thinking. . . "Well, of course paddling a canoe is fitness." Let me tell you I was sitting on my butt on the couch playing Wii. The canoeing might not have been real but the muscle pain in my shoulder is real.

Give Up

I give up!

I know I shouldn't say things like that. I am so frustrated. This summer I bought an Aquatic Therapy Pool to go in my basement. I need an environment to workout in that doesn't bother my knee and foot. I spent big money. It is still sitting in the basement in pieces. A friend was suppose to help get the room finished and install the pool. I finally 3 weeks ago hired the room finished. Still no pool.

For some reason my motivation to eat health and exercise is all tied to that pool. I get even get myself to blog. I really need the pool finished. My doctor told me aquatic therapy would do wonders for my knee. I have no money to hire it installed so I don't know what to do. I am so bummed out.

Food

Monday - Fruit with breakfast, salad with lunch, fruit for snack
Tuesday - Fruit with lunch, salad with dinner
Wednesday - Fruit with breakfast and lunch, salad with dinner

I've having problems right now. I can't see to find that food that I want. Nothing sounds good and nothing hits the spot. I have a hard time keeping myself from nonstop nibbling trying to find the right food. Wish I knew what would sound good. Right now I am going to go get a glass of water and a fresh pear.

New Chapter

My day is winding down. My food intake for the day is finished. Banana with breakfast. Carrot salad with lunch (squash too, but I know that really counts as a starch...I still think veggie). Apple with dinner.

I was going to set a goal today. But nothing has jumped out at me. Fruits and Veggies are always something I have to work at. I would love for them to be automatic one day. I'm still thinking. Maybe my goal for now should just be getting back to blogging. It's amazing how quick you can get out of a routine and how hard it is to get back with it. So for now......blogging is the goal.

Moving Free

The freedom to move is amazing. I feel like a new woman given new energy. When I was at the doctors on Thursday they drained fluid off my knee and gave me a cortisone shot. I am walking better than I have in months. I think walking with a stiff knee, shuffling across the floor, straining to stand up and sit down, took more of a toll on me than I thought. It's amazing how feeling like moving and moving can motivate healthier eating also. It's been a good 18 months since I walked with out pain, either in my foot or knee. I still have pain but feel like I can handle it. I know that the cortisone shots is only a short term fix, but I'll take what I can.

I'm Back, Again!!!

The summer was great. Why I didn't blog.......I don't know. School is under way and going good. Now its time to focus on me.

Update......for those that know of my on going knee problem. I have finally got to the bottom of 20+ years of knee problems. I have a good case of Osteoarthritis. The only cure for Osteoarthritis is a new knee. I have other problems like a torn Meniscus. But to do surgery for that would only aggravate the arthritis. Answer......get a new knee. When.......I'm not sure.

Update 2........Pool. Some may know that I purchased an aquatic exercise pool for my basement. The parts and pieces have been sitting in my basement since the 1st of August. (Frustration) The room in my basement for it is now finished. I hope that with in the next week I can get the pool installed.

So, There are a couple of things that I know will make things easier for my knee. One......getting to exercise in my pool. Two.....get some weight off. I'm sure that most of my faithful readers have given up on me. But I'm back and I hope that you are too.

Mowed the Lawn

I know that mowing the lawn doesn't sound like much of something to celebrate but for me it is. I haven't mowed my lawn since last fall before I got my "Boot" on. The neighbor boy has been doing it. It needed to be mowed and I thought I can do it. I wanted to quit a couple of times. I could barely move when I was finished. Everything from the waist down hurt. But I did it!!!!! I just got out of the shower. A friend gave me some essential oil that was to soothe sore and ache muscles. I just put some on. I'll let you know if I think it helped much.

I can tell it must be summer. Even though I have plenty of time I just haven't been blogging. I don't think about it. I try not to have many routines in the summer. Just kind of go with the flow. I have been working on a sticker chart this week. I don't have a goal or a reward in mind. But I think it helps. I don't have a lot of F & V's on it, but my exercise is good.

Kid at Heart

I guess I'm just a kid at heart........do about anything for a sticker. I didn't set a goal this week using my sticker chart because I was using my new shoes. Not a good idea. My F & V's have pretty much been nada. I don't know why F & V's are a battle and don't come naturally. So next week....back to my sticker chart.
I'm heading north again today. I'll be spending the night and attending a funeral in the morning before coming home. So I'm not sure what the next couple of days will bring. I hope to be able to get in a pool either tonight or in the morning.

New Shoes

A couple of weeks ago I went to Richfield to buy new shoes. I got there and looked over the athletic shoes. I started feeling for a good arch. I finally selected 3 pairs. I tried them on and bought the pair that felt best on my feet. It just so happens that I selected one of the stores most expensive pair of Nike's. It wasn't until I got home that I realized they were Nike +. Shoes that have a chip in them that will communicate with my ipod. It tracks my distance, time and speed of walking. So for this week's goal I'm using Nike.com. I have set the goal to walk at least 4 days this week for a total of at least 3 miles. I know that doesn't sound like much but I can only walk about 1/2 hour at a time. (For having had doctors tell me for over 15 years that there is nothing wrong with my knee, I wish somebody could explain the pain.)
So......did I walk today.....NO! I planted grass seed; beans, carrots, beets, swiss chard seeds; and flowers. I started around 8:30 and finished around 1:00. I move slow and have to stop and rest once in a while. I came in, cleaned up and sat down and read. I did eat a bowl of fruit for dinner with some soup.

Weekly Reward

I'm back from Salt Lake. I feel like I did pretty good with my eating. No exercise. Really not much F & V either. But I didn't overeat on big meals. I realize I never mentioned what I had decided as this weeks reward. I have an idea floating around in my head for piecing a quilt top. So I got to spend $1 today on fabric for each sticker on my chart. I was able to get what I needed.

Fast Week

Where has the week went!
Monday night I couldn't think of anything to write.
Tuesday night I was visiting with a friend and didn't get home until close to Midnight.
Last night I was feeling kind of blue.
So here it is Thursday and here I am. I have 29 stickers on my sticker chart. That doesn't count yard work. I have not met my goal of 30 minutes of exercise a day. I have spent over 8 hrs this week doing yard work. I know that counts for activity but I wanted to also see myself set aside "exercise" time.
I leave in the morning for my nieces wedding. I won't be home until some time Saturday. I don't always eat the best when I'm on the road. We'll see how it goes.

I'm Back

O.K. I'm back. I guess I just needed a break for a while and kind of forget about everything. A new week and new challenges. I'm not sure what I am reaching for this week. But my focus is going to be on exercise. At the very least 1/2 hour a day. I know that I should be up close to an hour a day. We'll just see how the week goes. I know last Friday I spent almost 4 hours outside doing yard work. (I actually was amazed that it was that much time.) So, I'm going to start a new sticker chart. I'm still tracking F & V and also exercise. I'm heading to Salt Lake Friday so I'll think of something to work towards.

Please continue to leave comments to help keep me motivated.

Hike

Thursday was our school's hike day. The kindergarten hike is really more like a mile walk. It's pretty flat. I really wanted to hike with my students. I had other staff at school say that they would go in my place but I really wanted to be with my students. I did a lot of praying that the pain and stiffness wouldn't get in the way. Thursday I woke up feeling better than I have had for a few weeks. I took IB (I do every day) and headed to school. I hiked with my students just fine. I had a great day. I hurt a bit yesterday but not to bad. I have family in town that wants to go hiking today. I'm sure that I'll be able to go with them.

Not Much

Don't expect much from me this week. The last week of school is always hard for me. There is a lot that has to been done to finish up the year. I come home tired. I can't even think of anything else to write.

New Reward

Here is a copy of last week's sticker chart. I was able to hold and love on the baby for 40 minutes.
This weeks challenge.......2 F and V a day plus 30 minutes of exercise. Thanks Sis! Reward.....Smoked Turkey from the Honeybaked Ham Store.

Fruit

Just a quick question before I leave town for the weekend.

Do the Fruit Loops I had for breakfast count as a serving of fruit? (LOL)

Headed down stairs to ride the bike for a bit before I head north for BHL.

Ooops!

I'm not sure what happened last night. I know I came into the office to blog, but there isn't one. Maybe I'm a little ADD and got sidetracked.

Yesterday was a good day. 1/2 hour of exercise thanks to talking to my sister on the phone and being distracted.

Today........I'm just barely getting home from school. Yes, it's almost 8:30. (Big "Art Night" at school) I'm tired but I've got to go do something. I've got to earn a couple of stickers.

+ for today.........sticker total = 26

Not So Good

Today has been a not so good day. Very high stress level at school. Overcast and gray weather. Lots of knee pain (I think the weather played a part). Didn't eat like I should have and had no motivation to exercise. Tomorrow will be better!

1 sticker today

Stickers

13 stickers in two days!!!!!!!!!!

Motivation is great!

BHL

This week I am reaching for BHL.......Baby Hugs and Loves! The challenge was put out there that if I behaved myself I'd get to indulge in BHL. I'm going for it. (If you're lost read comments on Friday's Blog.) I have created myself a sticker chart. I get a sticker for each serving of F or V and each 5 minutes of exercise. It is going to be full by Saturday. I put 4 stickers on today. I already feel the vibes for a great week. I love having something to reach for. What a difference it makes!

Saturday

I got up this morning so excited to get some yard work done. NO! Yesterday I was opening windows........today running the furnace.

Thanks for all the great ideas for something to reach for. It was a great help. Lots of ideas that I hadn't thought of. You better be prepared to not hold Emsley for a day! :-)

I don't think I had a actual meal today. I know that isn't the best way to eat, but some days just happen that way. Don't get me wrong, I ate, just piecing. I did get in 2 F & V each.

Something to Reach For

I can't believe that I haven't posted much this week. I guess it has just been one of those weeks. I have learned an important lesson this week. I need to have something to reach for. Last week I told myself I could go out to eat on Friday if I exercised each day. And I did it! This week I had nothing to reach for and I didn't reach. My F & V intake is way down. Except for some yard work this evening I haven't got any exercise this week either. Another interesting fact.......as the week has gone on, my pain has gone up. I have got to get my act together. I keep saying just let me survive the next 2 weeks (End of School Year) and then I'll get going. The problem is.......tomorrow never gets here. I can't let school and such get in my way. I've just got to jump in and do my best every day.

So here is my request..........help me come up with things to reach for. There is not a lot in my little town that I can do for a reward. It's got to be something pretty good to keep me motivated.

Tonight's Events

To see what happened today........visit my other blog.

MJ's Place

Alexander

Judith Viorst wrote a child's book that explains my day. So instead of the little boys name, Alexander, I'll just put in my name.

MarJean and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

And that's all I have to say about today.

Dancing

I have been blessed this day! I got out of bed and felt like dancing. I had less pain today than I have had for awhile. I couldn't help but feel like dancing. I didn't.......but maybe I should have.

What did I do for exercise today.......planted 3 trees. I dug the hole, planted the trees, smoothed the ground, carried water to them, carried brick across my yard to go around them. I carried 2 blocks at a time. Each tree needed eight. That's 12 trips 1/2 way across my yard carrying bricks. I was tired when I was finished, had a little soreness, but NO pain! My feet hurt a bit since I took off my shoes, but that is doable. This is just another testimony to me that the Lord will bless us when we take the time for Him in our lives.

I feel like I have done well with my food today. Breakfast: Toast with cheese and an apple. Lunch: Grilled chicken salad. Dinner: Hamburger (cooked at home) and Berry Smoothie. Snack: Ding Dong.

Nothing to Say

I really can't think of anything to blog about. I guess the last couple of days have just been pretty routine. I did go for a walk yesterday for a little over 20 minutes. Went out to eat to night and ate without any guilt for doing so. Maybe something exciting will happen tomorrow.

Ice Cream

So.....I was craving ice cream tonight. I had that little battle inside my brain........you know the devil and the angel. Long story short.....I went in the kitchen poured some milk and berries in the blend (out of yogurt) and had a smoothie. It tasted good and did the trick.

I read a quote I would like to share. It might not mean much to you but it hit me hard.

"Sometimes we get caught up in the one-size-fits-all mentality, and we feel that our lives should look like other people's lives. But that's really not true. Everyone has different trials, and Heavenly Father is aware of those. If we are humble enough to follow the plan He has for us, we'll be happy." (April Ensign #29) I took away from that, that I need to try and just find the joy in where I am. My life isn't meant to be like others. The Lord's not punishing me for anything or withholding blessing. He is just trying to shape me into who I'm capable of being.

+ for today . . . snack at school was carrots.

+ for today . . . . 22 minutes on the bike and 15 minute walk.

A Little More

Every year our school takes our students on a hike the last week of school. It's a day we all look forward to. I love spending that day out in nature with my students. Our hike is more like a walk but we all have fun, it's a mile long. I'm struggling with rather I will be able to go with them. So my goal is to work on some conditioning. I have until May 24th to get where I can physically walk a mile.

Living in the country I measure my walking my telephone poles. Yesterday I walked from post one to post five before turning around. I was walking slow and hurting when I got home. Today I tried for a little more. Today I walked to post 6 before turning around. I also stopped a couple of times along the way and did some stretching. I was sore but I don't think as bad as yesterday. I'm hoping if I go a little bit more each time I can hike the mile with my students.

+ for today . . . . 3 servings of F & V.

+ for today . . . . 20 minutes walking and 12 minutes with back exercises.

If I wasn't trying so hard to be positive I'd tell how I ate to many snacks today and about how much pain I've had today.

Chocolate Attack

I think I have mentioned it before, but I am very much and emotional eater. And my morning session of kindergarten causes me stress. (Sorry if you are reading this and have a child in that class.) So lots of days all I want when they leave is chocolate. Some days I give in and other days I can distract myself. (Some days I play solitaire on the computer to distract myself.) And then there are nights that I sit at home and can't seem to think of anything but chocolate. I don't know why chocolate has such a power over me. But I have just found a couple of weapons to help in the fight.

My sister told me about the new Quaker Chewy granola bars made with Cocoa. They come in 4 different flavors. Each bar is 90 calories, 8 grams of whole grain and 1 gram of fiber. A pretty good snack. And then just this weekend my friend introduced me to Cocoa Almonds. Almonds are a good part of a diet. Even though they are higher in calories they contain good fats for our body. Another win...chocolate that is good (maybe better) for you.

+ for today . . . . 5 servings of F & V.

+ for today . . . . 30+ minutes of exercise - 15 minute walk, 15 minutes on exercise bike, plus back exercises.

Weekly Goal

Here is my plan for the week.

Watch what I eat - And what does the mean.....minimize snacks and eat F & V each day.

Exercise - At least 30 minutes a day.

My Reward - Dinner Out

I know that I should not reward myself with food. But here is the deal. I need to go to Manti on Friday. (Those that may not know....that is an 1 1/2 drive one way.) To drive to Manti I go through Salina. Salina has my favorite Mexican restaurant. I don't go very often because its almost an hour away. So that will be my reward - dinner in Salina on Friday night.

Not The Best Week

Can I just say that if I go more then a couple of days and I don't add a blog.......it's probably because I feel like I have totally blown everything and I don't want to admit it. I spent the last couple of days with the I give up, who cares anyway attitude. I spent 12 hours on the road today, with a few stops. I've done some thinking. I repent......I will get back on track and try harder.

I am tired and I need to put some shopping away. So, Good-Night!

Thanks for Making a Difference

I've hard a rough day. My eating has stunk. I hurt a good part of the day. I still wonder if there is more to my knee than Dr.'s have found. Maybe not. Maybe if I did lose weight it would all go away.

I came home from school knowing there was no way in ..... that I was going to exercise. I was tired of hurting and didn't want to hurt any more. I sat down at the computer, logged on to my blog and read some of your comments. I didn't feel like I could let you down. You have been such a great support. So I changed clothes, took some IB and headed down the stairs. I got on the bike and rode for about 10 minutes. I actually felt better getting off than I did when I got on. Maybe I can eat the Elephant one little bite at a time. Later, after dinner, I did my back exercises and then spent a few minutes doing steps.

Thanks for inspiring me to keep going! I love ya all!

Exercise

Not so good with F & V today.

I spent some time this morning finishing moving stuff around in the basement. Later in the day I got on the exercise bike. The exercise that is suppose to be so good for my knee. Just work through the pain he said. I rode for about 15 minutes. I then had a hard time walking for the next couple of hours because my knee didn't want to work correctly. The stronger the muscles get the better I'll be. I guess I've just got to keep at it. I then spent some time this night on the fitball. If it would warm up a bit, out of the 40's, I'd get outside and do a little walking.

The next couple of days will be long days at school. Not sure if I'll get much exercising or blogging done.

Lay Stax and Pringles

O.K. I confess......a great weakness of mine is canned potato chips. I can open a can of Cheddar Stax and have the whole can gone in less than an hour. I've never stopped to figure out the calorie and fat content, but I don't think it would change anything. Once I start I just can't stop.

+ for today.......I bought a can of cheddar Stax on Friday and I still have some left. :-)

F&V - Banana and Strawberries for breakfast, green beans for lunch, celery sticks for snack.

Anniversary

One month ago today I started this blog. I was hoping that it would help motivate me to do big things. It hasn't worked that way. It has motivated me to do little things. But I know that those little things will add up to bigger things.

I know that the number on the scale is only one small measure of success. One month of blogging that number hasn't changed for me. But, I see that as a great victory. Just before I started blogging I had to go back on medication for anxiety and depression. The last time I went on these meds. I gained 40 pounds quite quickly. So being on them for almost 2 months and having not gained any weight is a sweet victory for me.

I felt like I did a good job of not over eating today. I did more munching than yesterday but my munching was on celery and/or grapes. I went for a short walk and did my workout routine on the fitball. This morning I also moved more stuff around in the basement. I'm getting ready to finish another room.

Today's Positives

Here I am winding up another day. A good day! I feel like I did a good job with food today. Maybe not the healthiest choices but very little snacking. Just one afternoon snack. Today's F & V; Blueberries and blackberries for breakfast (baked in a bread), Cabbage for lunch, green beans for dinner. I spent a couple of hours this morning working in the basement. Moving furniture, yes by myself. I count that as a work out. I know it got my heart rate going. This afternoon I spent 15 minutes Wii Boxing. I know that I need to be doing much more. But I feel proud of myself for what I did today.

I also feel that I need to spend a bit more time each day with Gospel Study. I need the Lord's help daily through this quest of health. I need to give him more time so I'm worthy of his help. I spent about 1/2 hour tonight reading from the Ensign. That also made me feel better.

Thank you for your comments. Please keep them coming!

I guess I felt guilty for not having anything to write. I just finished 15 minutes on the Fit Ball. Maybe blogging will help me. :-)

Waiting for a New Post

New Post...................I'm blank. I guess that is why I haven't posted anything for the past few days. My eating has been so so. Not a lot of activity. Think about it a lot. Just don't do it. I am so glad that Spring Break is here from school. I think I've been running on low. This will be a good few days to jump start me.

I promise to have something great to say tomorrow!

Week Over

This has not been my best week. Travel, late nights, eating away from home, visitor (Aunt Flo), bad news, to many sweets, not many F & V and no exercise. So, I am so glad that tomorrow starts a new week. A week that I will make great one day at a time.

Positive for the week......I'm still alive and smiling.

Today has been a good day. I watered the grass, hoping for green. Cleaned the house. Made dinner for tomorrow so I can just come home from church and heat it up. No nap! 3 loads of laundry and a bit of reading.

Crushed Spirit

Hi, My Name is MarJean and I'm an emotional eater!

I've had a super rough day. My mood and my eating has reflected that. I am typing this under protest. It doesn't do any good to have a blog to try and work out problems if you never put the problems out there. Also I know that I can't keep things bottled up or that just causes more problems.

I don't feel like going into a lot of detail. I have spent a great deal of time this week in prayer and thought. I have felt very inspired and came up with a plan I felt was perfect for me. A plan that would help with my physical pain. It entails needing a good amount of money. The thought came of get money from an annuity. Found out today that I can't touch that money until I'm 60. It totally crushed me! I cried for a long time. I was feeling so good about my plan. Having the rug pulled out from under me hurt. It's amazing how it hurt. I have felt so good today. Emotional high with my plan. Very little physical pain. Then this. I started hurting right away. I guess some of my pain is stress caused. I don't know. It's hard to explain.

So, anyway, I haven't given up on my plan altogether yet but will need to put some more thought into. Any one have any great ideas of how to come up with money fast, let me know! :-) (lol).

Travel

I can't come up with any great title for today. I left home yesterday after school and drove to Salt Lake. I had a Doctor's appointment today. After the appointment I drove back home. It's good to be out of the car.

Thanks to my dear friend that I stayed the night with I started my day off just right. She fixed a great breakfast with juicy oranges. Later in the day driving home I had a grilled chicken salad with lettuce and tomatoes. More F & V. I then stopped for more fruit.....a fresh strawberry shake! (lol) I'm sure that counts!

Good and bad news at the doctors. I don't need surgery......Yeah! Pretty much have to live with the knee problem....:-(. He did say with exercise and weight lose I would see an improvement. I was born with off centered knee caps and they way there are wearing with use is causing some stiffness and problems. So no more excuses.......work through the pain!

Guessing Game

What is this?

Is it a Fruit or a Vegetable?

Hint: I received 3 in my Bountiful Basket.

Hint: It came from Mexico.

Any one guessed Chayote. A vegetable like a squash. I googled it and came up with a Chicken and Chayote recipe. That's what I had for lunch today. Not to bad. Look at me. . . a new vegetable today!

Correction

I have only been listing fruits and vegetables for my daily pluses. I have been eating other things. But my goal was to focus on F and V, so that is all I post. Please don't think I am eating peas and carrots alone for dinner.

One good choice today. I had cut up veggies with my pizza. I dipped, but at least I was eating veggies.

It's late........Good Night!

To the Doctors Again

Last Friday I was at the doctors for a physical. I mentioned a little bump on the back of my neck. He said that it was no big deal. It was a little benign type cyst. He said they are common and no big deal. He had one for over 20 years before he had it removed. He mentioned that the only time they are a problem is if they become infected which only happens once in a great, great while. Monday it was itching. I woke up Tuesday and it was red and extremely larger than it was. He shook his head and laughed when I showed up today. He had to open it up and drain it. He also put me on antibiotics. He mentioned that once they get infected they are more apt to do it again. So once it is healed and no sign of infection I have to go back in to have the cyst removed.

I will be the first to admit with stress and worrying I had a very emotional eating day. Not healthy in any way.

+ for today....I did have a banana for breakfast.

Blues

I really don't feel like writing tonight. In fact I don't feel like doing anything. I was feeling pretty good until I got home. Then my mood seem to go down hill. I don't have an answer for why.

+ for today . . . . No snacking at school! Lunch - veggi soup and applesauce. Dinner - Peas and carrots.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

A dear friend suggested that I read this article. What a blessing. It gave me new ideas and thoughts. I hope everyone will take the time and read it.

LDS.org - CES Fireside - Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

I get up each morning so excited for the day ahead. I make great commitments to myself about exercising when I get home from work. And then, by the time I get home I am tired and sore. Then I feel bad because I didn't follow through with what I set for myself. I have decided to not worry and stress myself over exercising until I can get my knee fixed. I have a Dr.'s appointment about it next Tuesday. After saying that.......I did 100 sit-ups on the fitball tonight. :-)

+ for today.....Breakfast - dried strawberries (a few), Lunch - Green Salad, Dinner - Green beans and winter Squash (I know winter squash is starchy and fits into Carbs. but I like to think of it as a veg.), Snack - banana and a slice of Applesauce, Banana, Carrot bread.

So I made it through today. That is what counts the most. One day at a time!

Two Forces

There are two forces in our lives. . . . Evil and Good. The adversary wants us to struggle. When we struggle we let down our guard and he has an easier time getting what he wants. On the other hand the Lord wants us to succeed. He sent us to earth to be happy. We have trials to see if we will bend and snap or rise to the occasion. I will rise! My health and wellness has been a life time battle. I think part of my problems that last few days have come from the internal struggles I have with disappointing my mother. For a while before she passed away I had been working hard and had lost almost 60 pounds. I was feeling great. I know she was proud of me, even though she never told me, because she told everyone she met. It was such a shock when she passed away that I was in such a funk I gave up. All the weight plus some came back. I've never been able to find that passion again. Sorry Mom! I should have kept working hard.

Goals.......if you are talking long term, I want to be a member of "One"der Land. I know that the number on the scale shouldn't matter that much. But for me it does. I would say that my #1 goal is not to have heart problems. It runs in my family. I'm not so sure that right now not eating my meals at the table is a big deal. The one area I really struggle with is fruits and vegetables. I could go for days and not even realize that I haven't had any. So my focus right now is going to be Fruits and Vegetables. Increase in amount and more often.

+ for today..... banana with breakfast, Green salad with lunch.

Yuck

I'm feeling blah, I don't know just yuck. I'm not sure what is going on. I'm starting to think this is all just a mistake. How can being open about what is going on help me. I haven't ate the healthiest foods today. I haven't ate all my meals at the table today. I tried walking and ended up in pain. I just want to give up. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of being heavy. I'm tired of having not so good for my body food more appealing to me than healthier foods. I'm lost. I just want to sit and cry. But for some reason today the tears just won't come. YUCK!

Winner

If I move and win then I must be a winner. I moved today! I went for 3 walks this afternoon/evening. With my knee giving me problems I can't walk very long. It's not the my knee starts hurting but my lower back from walking weird. So each walk was only about 10 minutes. 30 minutes it better than nothing. I also just finished 50 sit-ups on the fitball. I feel good! Warm weather is always a motivator for me. Problem......cold fronts on it's way.

More confessions.......I had a chocolate shake tonight. :-( It tasted good but there was a bit of guilt over eating it.

Confession

I must confess......I ate breakfast in my recline watching T.V. and I just ate 2 glazed doughnuts. Both felt good.

What a week. I have ate out 3 days in a row. I usually eat out maybe once every week or two. I thought after last week this one would be better. Not!

Feeling kind of blue. But then I always do this time of the year. It was 4 years ago yesterday that my mom passed away. So I always give myself a little room for a few days.
Actually the sun is shining, the wind is light, and the air is warm. I'm going to find something health to eat and go for a walk.

Positive Thinking

It's really interesting how things all come together. I have been thinking the last little a while about needing to change my thinking. I need to be more positive with my thoughts. Earlier this week I posted an article I read on this subject. Then I got an e-mail with a link to a website where you can create your own positive affirmation poem. Then today at work a friend gave me a late birthday gift.....a positive affirmation kit. So I guess I can say that I've been hit over the head with the fryin' pan and had better make some changes. Positive Thinking......here I come!!!!

The last couple of days have been crazy. Even through all the craziness I feel like I have done rather well with my eating. Exercise.....zero. I was so set on coming home today and getting on my exercise bike. By the time I got home from school I was hurting. I sat took some IB, sat down to rest for a minute and fell asleep.

I have been eating meals at the table. That seems so weird to me. Lunch I still can't decide. If I try to focus only on my food, I eat fast so I can get back to getting ready for the rest of the day. If I work on stuff while I'm eating I seem to eat slower. I guess it really doesn't matter.

Please remember to leave comments. If I don't know your out there, I don't think this will work. I stopped myself from buying a candy bar the other day because I didn't want to have to blog and let everyone know that's what I did. Your invisible presence is helping. Thanks!

To Fix Problems, Stop Admiring Them

To Fix Problems, Stop Admiring Them
Click on the above link for a great article about self talk. We all need to remember to be more positive.

BMI

O.K. As hard as this may be I feel like I have to be honest. I don't feel I will ever have total success with out honesty. My BMI is 46.92. Any thing over 30 is obese. I have got a lot of work ahead of me. But I also know that I have just got to look at the little picture and take it one step at a time. So I will celebrate every one point drop in my BMI.

I feel good about today. I didn't get in any exercise but didn't sit down and take off my shoes to rest until 7:00 PM. Lot's of evenings I have already had a nap by then. Not one today. I ate both meals at home at my table with the TV off. I ate lunch at my desk and focused only on my lunch. It was hard not to correct papers while I was eating. My snacking was very minimal today.

Tomorrow is going to be a different story. I have to drive to Salt Lake City and back tomorrow for a meeting. That's a 3 hour drive each way. It will be a long day away from home with a lot of sitting.

Not the Normal Sunday

Sunday's are the day that I feel so helplessly out of control. I go to my church meetings and then I feel like I eat nonstop the rest of the day. I don't know if it's because Sunday's are more relaxed for me. I spend a lot of time reading on Sunday, but I seem hungry all day.
Today hasn't been like that. I still read for a while but I haven't felt the need to over eat today. I had my 3 meals and 1 snack. I feel full and satisfied. That's just so not normal for me. I like it though.

Goal for this week....Eat meals at my table. I am very much one that sits on the couch in front of the TV to eat all my meals that I am home for. So my goal this week will be to eat at my kitchen table. I'm not sure what to do with lunch at school. I always eat at my desk multi-tasking. I'm the only teacher that has a lunch break when I do, so there is no one to eat with. I'll probably still eat at my desk but try not to do anything else.

A big thank you to those that have given your support. I think this will only work if I know you are out there keeping your eye on me. THANK YOU!

Late!

O.K. It's late. This will be short. It's past my bed time. I have a friend staying over and we have been talking. I'm hosting a Baby Shower in her honor tomorrow.

Let's just say it wasn't my best day and leave it at that.

Plus Two

I feel like I had a pretty good day today.

Tonight was our school's Spring Festival......a night of dancing and singing. It's always kind of stressful. I have to have both of my class together for practice and performance. That's a lot of kids, but they did a great job.

+ for today.......I was able to get a doctor's appointment scheduled with a knee specialist. I have to wait until April 12th. But at least it is scheduled.
+ for today......I exercised! I come home from school tired and ready to sit down and take off my shoes. I wouldn't let myself do either until I exercised. I spent 15 mins. Wii boxing. It wasn't much but a start after sitting around most of the winter.

I had 2 pieces, instead of 1, of banana bread for lunch. But I didn't snack after school before dinner.

What's Next

I was asked what is next and what my goals are. For the next few days I will be in survivor mode. I have a lot going on with school and home. I will be thinking about goals and get some posted.

The one place I am starting is with a change of attitude. I have been fighting with some medical problems. I have found myself many times saying.......I'll do something as soon as I'm better. I can't do that any more. I have got to be able to find something to do today, each day. If my knee is acting up, do upper body. If my hands are hurting, go for a walk. And none of my problems should be stopping me from eating balanced meals. Being alone, cooking and eating balanced for one gets in my way. I have got to change that.

+ for today........Yesterday a bought a package of cookies. I ate 3. I was actually eating one as I typed last nights blog. Today I took the package to work for others and I didn't eat any more. I was tempted more than once, but walked pasted them.

I had a busy evening. No exercise and I had cake and ice cream at a church activity. Tomorrow, a find has asked me to go out to dinner. I know the restaurants menu and am already making plans for healthy choices for dinner.

Thanks for all your support!

Call for Help!

Help!!!!!!!!!!

I can't go on any longer with life going the way it is. It is time for big changes and I want you to be a part of it. Despite all of my medical and other problems I need to work hard on my fitness.

My Job..............Post nearly daily as to what I am doing.
Your Job............Make comments! I want encouragement and gentle reprimands.

I know that I have all the answers of how to do it. Application is a whole nother thing. Please help me and stick with me. This is going to be a long journey.