Not The Best Week

Can I just say that if I go more then a couple of days and I don't add a blog.......it's probably because I feel like I have totally blown everything and I don't want to admit it. I spent the last couple of days with the I give up, who cares anyway attitude. I spent 12 hours on the road today, with a few stops. I've done some thinking. I repent......I will get back on track and try harder.

I am tired and I need to put some shopping away. So, Good-Night!

Thanks for Making a Difference

I've hard a rough day. My eating has stunk. I hurt a good part of the day. I still wonder if there is more to my knee than Dr.'s have found. Maybe not. Maybe if I did lose weight it would all go away.

I came home from school knowing there was no way in ..... that I was going to exercise. I was tired of hurting and didn't want to hurt any more. I sat down at the computer, logged on to my blog and read some of your comments. I didn't feel like I could let you down. You have been such a great support. So I changed clothes, took some IB and headed down the stairs. I got on the bike and rode for about 10 minutes. I actually felt better getting off than I did when I got on. Maybe I can eat the Elephant one little bite at a time. Later, after dinner, I did my back exercises and then spent a few minutes doing steps.

Thanks for inspiring me to keep going! I love ya all!

Exercise

Not so good with F & V today.

I spent some time this morning finishing moving stuff around in the basement. Later in the day I got on the exercise bike. The exercise that is suppose to be so good for my knee. Just work through the pain he said. I rode for about 15 minutes. I then had a hard time walking for the next couple of hours because my knee didn't want to work correctly. The stronger the muscles get the better I'll be. I guess I've just got to keep at it. I then spent some time this night on the fitball. If it would warm up a bit, out of the 40's, I'd get outside and do a little walking.

The next couple of days will be long days at school. Not sure if I'll get much exercising or blogging done.

Lay Stax and Pringles

O.K. I confess......a great weakness of mine is canned potato chips. I can open a can of Cheddar Stax and have the whole can gone in less than an hour. I've never stopped to figure out the calorie and fat content, but I don't think it would change anything. Once I start I just can't stop.

+ for today.......I bought a can of cheddar Stax on Friday and I still have some left. :-)

F&V - Banana and Strawberries for breakfast, green beans for lunch, celery sticks for snack.

Anniversary

One month ago today I started this blog. I was hoping that it would help motivate me to do big things. It hasn't worked that way. It has motivated me to do little things. But I know that those little things will add up to bigger things.

I know that the number on the scale is only one small measure of success. One month of blogging that number hasn't changed for me. But, I see that as a great victory. Just before I started blogging I had to go back on medication for anxiety and depression. The last time I went on these meds. I gained 40 pounds quite quickly. So being on them for almost 2 months and having not gained any weight is a sweet victory for me.

I felt like I did a good job of not over eating today. I did more munching than yesterday but my munching was on celery and/or grapes. I went for a short walk and did my workout routine on the fitball. This morning I also moved more stuff around in the basement. I'm getting ready to finish another room.

Today's Positives

Here I am winding up another day. A good day! I feel like I did a good job with food today. Maybe not the healthiest choices but very little snacking. Just one afternoon snack. Today's F & V; Blueberries and blackberries for breakfast (baked in a bread), Cabbage for lunch, green beans for dinner. I spent a couple of hours this morning working in the basement. Moving furniture, yes by myself. I count that as a work out. I know it got my heart rate going. This afternoon I spent 15 minutes Wii Boxing. I know that I need to be doing much more. But I feel proud of myself for what I did today.

I also feel that I need to spend a bit more time each day with Gospel Study. I need the Lord's help daily through this quest of health. I need to give him more time so I'm worthy of his help. I spent about 1/2 hour tonight reading from the Ensign. That also made me feel better.

Thank you for your comments. Please keep them coming!

I guess I felt guilty for not having anything to write. I just finished 15 minutes on the Fit Ball. Maybe blogging will help me. :-)

Waiting for a New Post

New Post...................I'm blank. I guess that is why I haven't posted anything for the past few days. My eating has been so so. Not a lot of activity. Think about it a lot. Just don't do it. I am so glad that Spring Break is here from school. I think I've been running on low. This will be a good few days to jump start me.

I promise to have something great to say tomorrow!

Week Over

This has not been my best week. Travel, late nights, eating away from home, visitor (Aunt Flo), bad news, to many sweets, not many F & V and no exercise. So, I am so glad that tomorrow starts a new week. A week that I will make great one day at a time.

Positive for the week......I'm still alive and smiling.

Today has been a good day. I watered the grass, hoping for green. Cleaned the house. Made dinner for tomorrow so I can just come home from church and heat it up. No nap! 3 loads of laundry and a bit of reading.

Crushed Spirit

Hi, My Name is MarJean and I'm an emotional eater!

I've had a super rough day. My mood and my eating has reflected that. I am typing this under protest. It doesn't do any good to have a blog to try and work out problems if you never put the problems out there. Also I know that I can't keep things bottled up or that just causes more problems.

I don't feel like going into a lot of detail. I have spent a great deal of time this week in prayer and thought. I have felt very inspired and came up with a plan I felt was perfect for me. A plan that would help with my physical pain. It entails needing a good amount of money. The thought came of get money from an annuity. Found out today that I can't touch that money until I'm 60. It totally crushed me! I cried for a long time. I was feeling so good about my plan. Having the rug pulled out from under me hurt. It's amazing how it hurt. I have felt so good today. Emotional high with my plan. Very little physical pain. Then this. I started hurting right away. I guess some of my pain is stress caused. I don't know. It's hard to explain.

So, anyway, I haven't given up on my plan altogether yet but will need to put some more thought into. Any one have any great ideas of how to come up with money fast, let me know! :-) (lol).

Travel

I can't come up with any great title for today. I left home yesterday after school and drove to Salt Lake. I had a Doctor's appointment today. After the appointment I drove back home. It's good to be out of the car.

Thanks to my dear friend that I stayed the night with I started my day off just right. She fixed a great breakfast with juicy oranges. Later in the day driving home I had a grilled chicken salad with lettuce and tomatoes. More F & V. I then stopped for more fruit.....a fresh strawberry shake! (lol) I'm sure that counts!

Good and bad news at the doctors. I don't need surgery......Yeah! Pretty much have to live with the knee problem....:-(. He did say with exercise and weight lose I would see an improvement. I was born with off centered knee caps and they way there are wearing with use is causing some stiffness and problems. So no more excuses.......work through the pain!

Guessing Game

What is this?

Is it a Fruit or a Vegetable?

Hint: I received 3 in my Bountiful Basket.

Hint: It came from Mexico.

Any one guessed Chayote. A vegetable like a squash. I googled it and came up with a Chicken and Chayote recipe. That's what I had for lunch today. Not to bad. Look at me. . . a new vegetable today!

Correction

I have only been listing fruits and vegetables for my daily pluses. I have been eating other things. But my goal was to focus on F and V, so that is all I post. Please don't think I am eating peas and carrots alone for dinner.

One good choice today. I had cut up veggies with my pizza. I dipped, but at least I was eating veggies.

It's late........Good Night!

To the Doctors Again

Last Friday I was at the doctors for a physical. I mentioned a little bump on the back of my neck. He said that it was no big deal. It was a little benign type cyst. He said they are common and no big deal. He had one for over 20 years before he had it removed. He mentioned that the only time they are a problem is if they become infected which only happens once in a great, great while. Monday it was itching. I woke up Tuesday and it was red and extremely larger than it was. He shook his head and laughed when I showed up today. He had to open it up and drain it. He also put me on antibiotics. He mentioned that once they get infected they are more apt to do it again. So once it is healed and no sign of infection I have to go back in to have the cyst removed.

I will be the first to admit with stress and worrying I had a very emotional eating day. Not healthy in any way.

+ for today....I did have a banana for breakfast.

Blues

I really don't feel like writing tonight. In fact I don't feel like doing anything. I was feeling pretty good until I got home. Then my mood seem to go down hill. I don't have an answer for why.

+ for today . . . . No snacking at school! Lunch - veggi soup and applesauce. Dinner - Peas and carrots.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

A dear friend suggested that I read this article. What a blessing. It gave me new ideas and thoughts. I hope everyone will take the time and read it.

LDS.org - CES Fireside - Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

I get up each morning so excited for the day ahead. I make great commitments to myself about exercising when I get home from work. And then, by the time I get home I am tired and sore. Then I feel bad because I didn't follow through with what I set for myself. I have decided to not worry and stress myself over exercising until I can get my knee fixed. I have a Dr.'s appointment about it next Tuesday. After saying that.......I did 100 sit-ups on the fitball tonight. :-)

+ for today.....Breakfast - dried strawberries (a few), Lunch - Green Salad, Dinner - Green beans and winter Squash (I know winter squash is starchy and fits into Carbs. but I like to think of it as a veg.), Snack - banana and a slice of Applesauce, Banana, Carrot bread.

So I made it through today. That is what counts the most. One day at a time!

Two Forces

There are two forces in our lives. . . . Evil and Good. The adversary wants us to struggle. When we struggle we let down our guard and he has an easier time getting what he wants. On the other hand the Lord wants us to succeed. He sent us to earth to be happy. We have trials to see if we will bend and snap or rise to the occasion. I will rise! My health and wellness has been a life time battle. I think part of my problems that last few days have come from the internal struggles I have with disappointing my mother. For a while before she passed away I had been working hard and had lost almost 60 pounds. I was feeling great. I know she was proud of me, even though she never told me, because she told everyone she met. It was such a shock when she passed away that I was in such a funk I gave up. All the weight plus some came back. I've never been able to find that passion again. Sorry Mom! I should have kept working hard.

Goals.......if you are talking long term, I want to be a member of "One"der Land. I know that the number on the scale shouldn't matter that much. But for me it does. I would say that my #1 goal is not to have heart problems. It runs in my family. I'm not so sure that right now not eating my meals at the table is a big deal. The one area I really struggle with is fruits and vegetables. I could go for days and not even realize that I haven't had any. So my focus right now is going to be Fruits and Vegetables. Increase in amount and more often.

+ for today..... banana with breakfast, Green salad with lunch.

Yuck

I'm feeling blah, I don't know just yuck. I'm not sure what is going on. I'm starting to think this is all just a mistake. How can being open about what is going on help me. I haven't ate the healthiest foods today. I haven't ate all my meals at the table today. I tried walking and ended up in pain. I just want to give up. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of being heavy. I'm tired of having not so good for my body food more appealing to me than healthier foods. I'm lost. I just want to sit and cry. But for some reason today the tears just won't come. YUCK!

Winner

If I move and win then I must be a winner. I moved today! I went for 3 walks this afternoon/evening. With my knee giving me problems I can't walk very long. It's not the my knee starts hurting but my lower back from walking weird. So each walk was only about 10 minutes. 30 minutes it better than nothing. I also just finished 50 sit-ups on the fitball. I feel good! Warm weather is always a motivator for me. Problem......cold fronts on it's way.

More confessions.......I had a chocolate shake tonight. :-( It tasted good but there was a bit of guilt over eating it.

Confession

I must confess......I ate breakfast in my recline watching T.V. and I just ate 2 glazed doughnuts. Both felt good.

What a week. I have ate out 3 days in a row. I usually eat out maybe once every week or two. I thought after last week this one would be better. Not!

Feeling kind of blue. But then I always do this time of the year. It was 4 years ago yesterday that my mom passed away. So I always give myself a little room for a few days.
Actually the sun is shining, the wind is light, and the air is warm. I'm going to find something health to eat and go for a walk.