Thanks Sis!

My dear sweet little sister sent me this today.  It made my day!

Good Feeling

Tonight I saw a friend that I havn't seen for awhile.  She looked at me and said, "Wow, your melting!"   That made me feel so good!   It helps give me the motivation to keep going.

Portions

Went shopping today.
Cooking for one and counting calories can sometimes be a problem when everything you buy is packaged for families.  So I spent some time and portioned some of what I bought.

I put spaghetti sauce in half-cup containers and marked how many calories.  I then wrapped some angel hair pasta into serving with the calories.  I hope this will help.

I also put 4 crockpot chicken meals in the freezer. . . . Hawaiian Chicken.  I have decide to try each week to put a couple of crockpot meals in the freezer for this summer when maybe I won't feel like cooking.

Milestone

I'm sitting here watching TV.  Just put the crochetting down.  Thinking about how it's about time for a snack.  And then thinking, serious. . . your not hungry.  Why do I need an evening snack if I'm not hungry.  I  think I'm been so use to feeling FULL that I'm struggle with feelings of not so full and hungry.  I'm getting better at determining when I'm truly hungry.

I have now lost 30 pounds!!!!!! :-)

Body or Mind

I had to put this to the test today.  20 minutes on the bike is pretty much my limit.  I've tried to push myself to go longer but it just doesn't happen.  So with this saying in mind I watch 2 episodes on Netflix instead of one.  Amazing. . . . 40 minutes felt no different then with 20.  O.K.  My back hurts, but that's just because my bike seat is horrible.  But for my knee and the rest of me. . . . 40 minutes was doable. 
I'll have to see how first thing Saturday morning compares to after working all day.  I'll give it a try Monday and let you know how it goes.

Calorie Burn

I've been sitting and crocheting for the last couple of hours.  I just had a thought.  Does crocheting benifit me more than just sitting?  So I looked it up.  Just sitting and watching TV for an hour burns 120 calories.  Crocheting for an hour burns 185 calories.  So no more feeling guilty sitting at nights crocheting.

P.S.  Can I just say how nice it is to be able to crochet again without pain in my hands!! Yeah!

Yuck and Double Yuck!

Why.........Why do I do stupid things?
I have worked so hard at improving my health.  I have been feeling great!  I'm a firm believer that in order for a happy success health program (I'm trying not to think of it as weight loss program.  It's got to be a new way of life.) that you need a free day once a week.  Sunday's are those days for me.  I was really in the mood for cookies tonight.  I tried for a while to talk myself out of it but decided it was O.K to make a small batch.  Oh they tasted so good.  Yes, they!  I couldn't stop with just one.  Right now my whole digestive system is yelling and screaming.  I feel yuck.  Maybe that is why research says it is good to have a free day.  Soon you don't want them because of how they make you feel.

Oh well, it's done and over with.  Tomorrow a new healthier day!

P.S.  Over half way to accomplishing my big goal!!!!  This week's mini goal.  More fruit and more biking!

Answers

Hit The Wall

I am not a runner and never will be.  But I've heard the term many times of Hitting the Wall.  A good runner just digs deeper and runs through it.

I hit my wall.  Thursday and Friday were hard days.  I was finished.  I was so tired of tracking every little thing that goes in my mouth.  I could careless if I ever exercised again.  Even though I was losing weight and feeling better, I was so done!!!!

In the past when I hit the wall I do stop.  I told myself that I just had to work through it.  I did exercise Thursday even though I didn't want to.  Yesterday I rode the bike but didn't get in the pool.  Last night I had a good old fashion "Binge."  But......it was all O.K.  One thing I learned in Vermont was that if your binge is a conscious decision, you do it and move on, that it's O.K.  Of course you can't let it happen all the time.  I was so proud of myself for recording everything that I ate.

Today.......I'm feeling much better.  I know that I can keep going just a little bit longer.  I guess it's true about "Eating an Elephant one bite at a time."  If I can just make it through today.....then I can worry about tomorrow.  I think I too often get lost in my big goal.  So......big goal.......50 lbs gone by surgery. (By the way.... I'm just a couple of pounds away from half way.)  Medium goal......work hard and eat healthy this week.  Small goal......make it through today!

Going Good

It is late and I need to get to bed.  Just want to say that things are going good.  I'm feeling better (Well maybe not right now. I gave into to eating chips and salsa.  I think I ate to much.)   I was actually quite proud of myself today.  Yesterday at the store I was in the mood for icecream.  So I bought a small container.  I opened it today.  After a couple of spoonfuls I thought, "this isn't all that great.  Why are you wasting calories on it."  So I threw it away.

Lost 10 pounds in January!!!!  :-)

I just can't come up with a title for this blog.

Yesterday I chose not to exercise.  Not to bad.  One day won't hurt much.  Oh My Goodness......I could not control by eating last night.  I just kept eating and eating.

I have been doing very well.  Keeping my calories down and exercising each day.  I was feeling good.  Then last night.  It just helped reinforce how important excerise is. I have already been on the bike for 20 minutes.  Hopefully I won't have a night like last night again.

Thought

Working Together

Weight Watchers has started again in the county.  Four of my co-teachers have signed up and are getting started.  One dear friend has begged me to sign up and do it with her.  I have stayed firm with my no.  I did sit down with her and agreed to do my own thing as she works with WW.  So I am back to tracking what I eat.  It always seems to work best for me.  I just get bored with tracking and it's hard to track when you just throw things together and call it dinner.  But I'm going to give it my all. Hopefully all 5 of us working together will bring us all success.

Veggie Week

I am sure that I have eaten more veggies this week than I have in a long time.  In fact, tonight I had pizza for dinner and put sliced zucchini on it. (Green Peppers, too) I am trying hard not to let any of those veggies I sliced last Saturday go to waste.

I bought ice cream last Friday.  I am proud to say that I still have about 1/2 a carton left.  In the past I could finish a carton of ice cream in 24 hours. (Yes, I'm sharing my deep dark secerts.)

Exercise:
    Tuesday - nothing
    Wednesday - bike
    Thursday - pool
Earlier today I went down and got in the pool.  The idea was later after dinner I would go down and get on the bike.  That never happened.  Oh, well!  There is always tomorrow.

Excuses

I'm all full of excuses tonight.  At least I'm owning up to the fact that they are excuses.  By the time I got home from school I was sore.  I hadn't wore good shoes.  I was a little on the tired side and my throat was sore.  So I choose not to ride the bike tonight. But I did spend 45 minutes in the pool! :-)

Never Give Up

I feel a need to share this poem.  I think more for me then anyone else.  I have struggled with being to heavy all my adult life.  Everytime I renew my efforts to lose some weight I hear voice that say. . . "Here she goes again.   I don't know why she tries.  She'll never do it.  She hasn't yet." They seem like truely real vocies to me.
I shared this poem in Relief Society today.  As a read it I had a great feeling come over me that not only was my Heavenly Father but also my earthly father was cheering me on.

The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. "Dee" Groberg
Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
    my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
    excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
    or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
    and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
    to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
    was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
    the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
    and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
    Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
    which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
    and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
    his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
    “I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
    with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
    “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
    but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
    “There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
    But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
    for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
    You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
    and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
    still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
    Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
    head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
    the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
    you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
    “To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
    the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
    And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
    another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Much Better

It's  true...........the sun did shine today.  I feel so much better.  My mood has lifted. 

Yesterday while I was shopping I bought a bagful of veggies.  I spent about an hour today and cut them all up; carrots, celery, green peppers, zucchini and cucumbers.  They are all in bags in the fridge ready for whatever; soups, salads, casseroles.  I have a lazy habit of having veggies go bad because I don't want to take the time to fix them up.  I'm hopping this will help.

I slept in (partly do to medication that I took last night) and woke up ready to face the day.  I went straight down to the pool.  Later in the afternoon I went down and got on the bike.  Another episode of Coach.  It's nice how the time goes by fast while I'm focused on TV (Netflix) instead of working out.  So a little over an hour of me time today!

Negative Thoughts

I really need to blog.  I really don't want to.  I really don't want to do much of anything.  My "Itty Bitty --- Committee" is really having a hayday today.  I've told them to shut up but maybe I need to put it down.  I'm having the feeling of failure today.  I had a small bowl of ice cream (not half the carton like normal) and I didn't get in the pool.  Why does that make me feel like I've blown the day?  I wish I could figure out the human thinking pattern. 
I AM NOT A FAILURE!!!  I did come home from school and get on the bike.
I'm remembering why I never stick with the bike.  The way the seat reclines and the way I'm built and working around a bad knee it really hurts my upper back.  My shoulders and down between my shoulder blades hurt.  I don't just hurt when I ride but when I'm off also.  I don't know if it will get better.  I think I've always stopped the bike after a few days because of this.  I'm going to persist.   I guess I just need to go to bed and sleep it off.  The sun will shine tomorrow on a new day.
Thanks to those that read and support me.  It makes me put more thought into what I do knowing people are waiting to read.

Tired

Came home from school tired and didn't feel like doing anything.  But.......I did it anyway.  Both bike and pool.

Yeah!

I did it!  I was even more nervous about my work out when I remembered I had meetings at school until 5:00.  I made it through 1 episode of Coach on the bike and 40 minutes of walking in the pool.

Nervous

I'm nervous!  I have to go back to school tomorrow.  I will come home tired.  Will I have the inner strength to work out?  I hate having to work.  It has been so nice being on my own time schedule the past few days.

New Year

2012 is gone.  2013 has started.  I'm not really sure what happened to 2012.
Happy New Year!

Another episode of Coach and another 25 minutes on the bike.  Today I experienced no pain in my knee.  Except for riding before lunch and feeling shakey after getting off I felt good.   I've had lunch and a rest and am now heading down to the pool.